It was not so long ago that my children were little. We had all the usual challenges - fussy siblings, moments of boredom and moments of great engagement and fun. I remember taking my little ones on 'nature walks' on Sundays when we lived in Midland and the oldest ones were young. We'd look for crickets or moss on a rock or interesting seeds or rocks. We'd examine them and talk about the ants or the leaves on a tree. When we lived in Garland, we did our own little preschool every day - just us for awhile and later with a couple of other friends. We spent lots of time playing together and everyday each of the kids got to spend 20 minutes playing with mom all by themselves. We played whatever they wanted to play just the two of us. The others were close by, but it was our own one on one time. When we lived in Houston the first time, we used to play space explorers. The couch was our spaceship and we'd zoom off to other planets and get out to explore. Invariably we'd 'find' something that caused all of us run back to the spaceship and count down to blast off. Silly games - silly things to remember and miss.

We grew gardens in several places and the children were always a big part of the garden project. Our gardens were sometimes flooded out, burned up by too much heat and not enough water, over run by bugs, but always we were able to enjoy some produce cultivated by our own efforts. In California Jesse wanted to buy 2 strawberry plants in June right after we moved there. I told him they wouldn't produce anything until the next spring, but he was insistent that's what he wanted to spend his money on. We bought the plants and in November, we had hundreds of plants to separate out and replant (we gave lots to friends.) In March we had loads of strawberries. We made freezer jam and ate lots of strawberries fresh. We had more and more plants every year. Jesse's strawberries were a big success.

We were always looking for a museum, zoo, or factory facility to visit. We found lots to go see. The kids were so inquisitive. They wanted to read every placard at the zoos and museums we visited. We never saw the entire Houston Natural History Museum or the Houston or Dallas Zoos in one trip. Every time we went we would start with favorite parts and then pick one or maybe two new areas to explore. In the summertime, we did a date with mom. Each of the kids would get a date with me - each of them got choose what the two of us would do on our date. They really looked forward to that event.

Now my children are grown and gone from home. Some of them have children of their own. It is a joy to see the next generation growing and learning. I see something of their parents in them from time to time and since I think all of my children are exceptional, I am pleased to see some of those exceptional qualities passed along.

Jesse left mortality 3 years ago today. It seems like just yesterday that our world was knocked off kilter and yet it's been three long years. I miss his wit, wisdom, and the little chats we used to have. Oh, how I miss my little boy. Sometimes my heart just aches that he isn't here to share in our everyday challenges and triumphs. It makes me so sad that he isn't here for his adorable little ones. I know we'll see him again one day, but I still miss him in the here and now. I love to visit with each of my children and really miss the chance to visit with Jesse.

Jesse, you are missed every day. Little things remind me of you everyday and I just wanted to jot down these few thoughts on this sad anniversary. Jesse, your mom and dad sure love you.